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In Fear Will Be Found

In Fear Will Be FoundRecently, I was invited to speak at a conference that would be hosting around four to six hundred people. Of course, I accepted and spread the news in small ways and because of this, I encountered a repeating conversation that went something like the following.
“You must be nervous. I would be terrified.”
I always answered with the following response.
“Why would I be nervous? It’s only four to six hundred people.”
“Only four to six hundred people?” They would reply. “That’s a lot of people!”
And this is where I shall end the transcription of the conversation that I had several times and begin upon a trail of thought that will prove that four to six hundred people aren’t a lot of people.
Why are four to six hundred people not a lot of people, you may ask? Well, actually it is a lot of people. However, if I compare four to six hundred people to the rough estimate of nine billion people who exist on planet earth, four to six hundred is not a lot of people. Therefore, I am not the teeniest bit nervous about speaking to an audience of that size. Because unlike others, I do not operate in an individualistic manner where it concerns the logistics of the Human mind.
The moment I found out I was invited, I was terrified. However, the moment I reviewed the matter in proportion to another matter is the moment that my emotional state returned to a level understanding. I am not going to speak to nine billion people. I am not even going to speak to a tenth of the human population. I am only going to speak to four to six hundred people which are not a lot of people when placed in proportion to a larger amount. Therefore there is no need for me to be afraid. Instead of allowing a fear of fumbling in front of a large audience to paralyze my speech-writing process, I realized that I could very well be fumbling in another situation that could possibly be much more embarrassing. Because of this newly installed perspective, I remained entirely calm.
Obviously, I do not operate as most Humans do. From what I can tell, most Humans rush about dependent on each other, their emotions and substitutes for happiness. I do not do any of these things because I have come to realize that dependency is unnecessary when perspective is provided.
Human Beings are somewhat predictable. Many of them fall into profiling categories and are then funneled through a myriad of personality trait sub categories. Eventually, after being analyzed and cross examined, they are slapped with a label describing who they’ve learned to be and are rushed into the tightly packed sardine can of society. And this is the very reason why Humans are predictable. Because out of perspective, our choices are made, and when everyone is taught to think alike based off of indoctrination processes that began when we were young, everyone’s perspective tends to wear similar. Therefore, people’s choices are easily seen coming. From what I can tell, people are taught to place themselves in proportion to smaller matters so that their personal lives seem bigger than they actually are. Like I said before, once I placed my conference invite in proportion to a larger situation, I was no longer afraid and was completely calm. Yet, most people would consider speaking at a conference hosting four to six hundred people absolutely terrifying because instead of placing that situation in proportion to a larger matter, they instead would compare it to something smaller. Instead of seeing how four to six hundred people is a very small amount compared to the whole of Human existence, they would rather see how four to six hundred people is a huge amount compared to the close circle of friends they speak to on a regular basis. In essence, they limit their opportunities and abilities and allow fear to determine their identity and possibilities.
This is actually very intriguing to me; for this seems to reveal a hypocrisy in the Human banter of hope. For many of us, while narrowing our scope, claim to live peaceful, happy and successful lives. However, this is not possible unless we’ve just learned to become content with a Smartphone’s view of life rather than a fifty inch 4K High Definition Picture perspective. We are, as some would say, blindly chasing our tails while claiming to have suitable reasoning abilities. And what wraps this entirely hilarious situation in a pretty, pink bow is the fact that we justify our dumb existence with the following phrase.
“Follow your heart.”
What makes this so utterly funny to me is the fact that we do not follow our hearts. Then what do we follow, you may ask? Well, you’re in luck because I have an answer that just may solve your dimwitted mystery.
We don’t follow our hearts, we follow our fears. For to follow the heart is to cast aside all fear. For instance, you’re afraid he/she will turn you down, so you don’t ask him/her out on a date. You’re afraid you’ll be removed from your home, so you pay the rent. You’re afraid you’ll be fired from your job, so you arrive on time and treat the manager(s) with respect. You’re afraid you’ll be arrested and put in prison so you pay your taxes and follow the law. Everything we are taught to do in society is based upon fear. Fitting into the norm requires us to fear civilization while all the while claiming the comfort of acceptance. So we do not follow our hearts as we so stupidly go about and say, we follow our fears. For in following the heart, we cast aside fear and understand that in love lies the answer. Now, I’m not one to dabble in emotional reasoning. Or, I used not to be one who dabbled in emotional reasoning. But the more I wander through this fascinating life of mine, the more I realize that perspective does not begin in the mind but instead in the heart.
From what I can tell, there are two source emotions that drive us as Human Beings; love and fear. Now many people believe that the source emotions are instead love and hate, but if one takes a moment to ponder this, they’ll realize that hate is birthed out of fear. Hence love and fear are the two emotions that compel us as a whole. When faced with this notion, it is suddenly realized that every choice we make in life is determined by either our love for something or our fear of something. In this respect, we truly are simple creatures. Our very existence can be boiled down to one ultimate choice. And in this choice, we find the extent of our identity. We either love the prospect of life, or we fear it. Hence the predictability of the human race.
It truly is funny how so many of the complicated and seemingly unsolvable problems we face today are actually quite simplistic when placed in proportion to this new understanding. Racism is a fantastic example. Our hate for those with different colored skin can almost always be traced back to a fear of some sort. The president that’s elected or the fact that you don’t let your children out at certain times of night. The fact that when you leave your home, you lock your door. Or the fact that when walking down the street, you keep to yourself and avoid others afraid that someone may attempt to harm you. The reason that you don’t leave that boring job of yours for something a little more exciting or the fact that you still haven’t had that heart-to-heart with that certain someone. Fear is the inspiration of stagnation. When afraid, we are paralyzed. And when paralyzed, we remain firmly planted upon our thumbs.
I implore you. Do not sit on your thumb. It is quite disgusting. Instead, take a leap into the unknown and allow your tantalizing fears to crumble away. Begin to force your weary eyes open so that you may view the beauty of life and furthermore fall in love with it. For in love will be found the solutions. And in fear will be found the confusions.
Candidly,
Twisty Ceives

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I'm a writer, filmmaker, and Human. I think...

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