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I Interviewed God

I Interviewed God  I had a dream just the other night in which I interviewed the Almighty God. He is not as terribly judgmental as some fear Him to be. Despite what so many have claimed, He is actually quite kind and understanding. His form was simple. He did not wear long, flowing robes that glowed startlingly white and He certainly did not have an elegant, brown beard. Surprisingly, he shocked the cliches by wearing a pair of corduroy overalls under which he wore a white short sleeved shirt. His rugged hands were donned by a tan pair of cowhide work gloves and His long, unruly hair was pulled into a tight ponytail. Although I knew He was the all-powerful ruler of creation, He did not seem as such. From the best of my observations, He seemed just as normal as the average Human Being. In fact, He seemed to be a farmer just recovering from a long day of hard work. Even though He was exhausted, He was very gracious in granting me an interview.

  In this very odd dream, God led me to a small, two-story farmhouse that was antique but nice. Once inside, I found myself rather shocked by the appearance of this home’s interior. I’m not positive of what exactly I expected upon entering, but whatever it was that I hoped for was completely dismantled as I wandered the halls of what appeared to be a mansion. The preeminent Father of all things was humored by my shock and asked of me what I surmised before entering. I related to Him that I did not know what to anticipate, but was astonished by what I saw. He continued to guide me down a long hall that was arrayed with all sorts of paintings as I did my best to memorize the scenery for this article’s sake. Then, finally, we arrived at a small room in which rested a mini bar.

  Now, many of those reading this article might find it offensive that the Almighty God owned and operated a mini alcoholic bar in His own farm/mansion. But what I’ve found in life is that nothing is as it seems. For every time we’ve learned all we think there is to know, our knowledge is shocked by some new discovery. Therefore, it should not be offensive that God owned a mini bar, but instead it should be looked upon with curiosity and understanding.

  Offering me a drink as I took a seat in a plush, red leather chair, God began to ask me why I had come to his mansion. I answered by saying that he had led me here. God chuckled in response as He finished mixing my vodka martini. Of course He had led me here, that much was obvious. But why I had chosen to come was a different matter entirely. He then handed me my vodka martini, and asked of me what questions I would be asking Him in our interview as He took a seat opposite to me in a black leather chair that was lined with silver stitches. I suppose that most of my questions were rather standard when interviewing others. I usually begin with their occupation, then slowly move onto their beliefs in this matter. Afterwards, I transition into their personal ideals and their goals in life. In essence, I look to determine a rough sketch of who this person truly is and what they wish to accomplish with themselves. But God, I realized, was a vast and enormous being with an infinite past and future. It was nearly impossible for me to ask Him any questions as I was paralyzed with the awe of this dreamy moment.

  Seeing that I was having difficulty in picking a series of questions for this interview, God began by humorously stating that this very situation was why He owned a mini bar; so that those he graced with an interview would not be paralyzed as the alcohol would help them to relax. He then continued by saying that the first thing most people wish to know is why God allows bad things to happen in this world. I suppose that this was a rather standard question to begin with, but something within me seemed to reject it nonetheless. For some reason or another, the answer to this question was so obvious that I could not possibly ask it. Because after all of the articles I have written, I once again realized that the reason bad things happen on this Earth is because of Human Being’s choices. We ourselves are the basis of the reality in which we live, so God was certainly not to blame for the horrors of this world. But then again, He is the one who created this earth and the evil within it. So in one way, this question was an interesting point with which to begin.

  So I told God that since He already knew of one question He could answer, He might as well answer it. God sighed in exhaustion and downed a shot of tequila that he had previously poured at the bar. He then said that this question was extremely repetitive, tiring and insulting. So He began his answer by asking me a question in return. “Who am I?”, God asked me, the great Twisty Ceives. I was a little surprised by His question. Why would God ask me who He was? He clearly knew His own identity. But then I realized that God was not asking me who He was so that I may answer. Instead the question was of the rhetorical variety. He wished to know if I knew who God truly was. This intrigued me greatly because in this question was found the answer to why God allows bad things to happen. The answer is that He does not. But those who do not truly know God’s identity will automatically assume that He is of a negative nature. Those whose own image of God is skewed will automatically assume that God is to blame for the problems of this world. Because of God’s rhetorical question, I recognized the fact that God does not allow bad things to happen but instead we do. Just as we create our own demons, we too create our own problems.

  God and I did not talk anymore after His rhetorical question. In fact, I abruptly awoke at this point and immediately set off to write this article. Meditating upon the revelations I received from my slumber, I began to realize that misunderstood identity is the true reason that this world is in disarray. For in not knowing who we truly are, we will stumble blindly without any understanding as to what we are meant to do. Just as we blame God because we do not truly know Him, we also blame ourselves and others because of a lack of knowledge as to who we truly are. If one were to ponder this, one would realize that the source of disunity is because we are unaware of our own identities. We are often told that we forge our own fate yet we ourselves are oblivious to what that fate actually is. Sometimes we are instructed that destiny is an uncontrollable force that dominates our future, but in other instances we are informed otherwise. These clashing beliefs do not necessarily cause division. But they can cause confusion which can, unfortunately, lead to chaos. However, no matter our beliefs, it is still an undeniable reality that our identity determines our future. And when one is unaware of one’s identity; one’s future will be a shamble. This is why so many endeavor to search for who they are. Many look to find their place in this gigantic universe, yet so many are turned away from this quest.

  “Who are we?” and “Where do we come from?” are the two questions that befuddle us as a Human race. Even though many of us do not know these questions consciously, our inner self pushes nonetheless for the answers for which we so desperately long. Those of us who are aware of these two queries, we are the lucky ones. Or are we? For if our identities are still unknown, how will we know who we are? And if we do not know who we are, then how will our future be determined? We ourselves are the basis of the reality in which we live. But if we ourselves do not know who we are, then the reality in which we live will inevitably reflect this. No wonder the world is so chaotic for we do not even know who we are.

Twisty Ceives (mr. ceives)


I'm a writer, filmmaker, and Human. I think...

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